Soap Self-Critique

3.7.2007 [Critique suggestions]



Things to consider and redo:

- scribbled text on tv screen: don't make it so sporadic, give it some order, and maybe a darker color.

- woman's face is dead: let her eyes blink, or her pupils move from side to side, especially in the close-up shot. Give her some life.

- non-gendered feeling in tub scene: maybe show her leg, or both legs, or a feminine arm hanging over the side of the tub. She's looking too much like just a genderless blob.

- Choppy transitions: don't need cinematic, drawn out transitions. Maybe could do with just short, hard transitions.

- Zoom: don't allow audience to see start or end of zoom-ins and outs.


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As I go back and watch my commercial to do a self-critique, I start to see and realize more things about it that I previously had not.

As far as effectiveness, I'm not quite sure right now what would be more effective (until my audience informs me otherwise), but I just know that the aggrandization (however sublte and subliminal I wanted it to be) could have been pushed somemore. Maybe graphics or effects-wise, and not so much content-wise.

The images could have been a bit cleaner, and the lines variations thicker and thinner to give everything more of a "pop." The tv commercial that the woman is watching was probably the major point/climax of the piece, yet the build up is kind of weak. In my head, it was much stronger. I think this, too, could be resolved graphics-wise. More emphasis and detail needs to be put into the host, and the "words" on the tv screen need to be more noticeable and stand out, like most good advertisement. The tv "text" is too bland and doesn't do much justice.